I gave this talk on March 15, 2025, at our annual Two Traditions, One Family Zazenkai (one-day retreat) with and at Providence Zen Center.

Yun Yen asked Tao Wu, “What does the Bodhisattva of Great Compassion use so many hands and eyes for?”

Wu said, “It’s like someone reaching back groping for a pillow in the middle of the night.”

Yen said, “I understand.”

Wu said, “How do you understand it?”

Yen said, “All over the body are hands and eyes.”

Wu said, “You have said quite a bit there, but you’ve only said eighty percent of it.”

Yen said, “What do you say, Elder Brother?”

Wu said, “Throughout the body are hands and eyes.”

Tao Wu is saying compassion isn’t something we do. It’s what we are. It’s what we’re made of.

Can you feel it? Do you experience it all through your body? If not, maybe you’re not compassionate enough with yourself.

Have you had that pillow experience? I have. I’m shifting in bed, still in a sleep state, but conscious enough to know I’m readjusting my position. I reach for a pillow without thinking and put it someplace that provides support and comfort. And then I slip back into deep sleep. It all just sort of happens.

I got new pillows a few years ago. They’re great for side-sleepers, but too heavy. Now, when I adjust them, I struggle and strain my shoulder. I need to buy lighter pillows, but I don’t.

What is this part of me that doesn’t seem to take care of myself? Is it there when I’m not as compassionate as I could be during the day?

If you’re like me, others do things that can trigger you. We respond harshly sometimes. It’s a protective reaction. We feel vulnerable somehow. There’s something important at stake, but our reaction neither leads to the care we need nor addresses the relationship challenge with wisdom and compassion.

Maybe that vulnerable part needs compassion before we can respond less reactively. Maybe it needs to know we’re tending to it, perhaps by setting healthy boundaries in the relationship or reconfiguring it.

Perhaps I don’t replace the pillows that bother me when I sleep because I overload myself when I’m awake. Part of me feels vulnerable to becoming overwhelmed, so it’s on overdrive, cutting things from my to-do list that’s always too long. Too often it’s cutting things important to self-care.

Maybe we should listen to those vulnerable parts whispering about something we need, so we care for ourselves better and can express our karma more fully and clearly. So we let compassion move more freely around and through and as us.